Advice

After being involved in more than 77,600 weddings, we’ve definitely learned a few things and would like to pass some of them on to you!

The Top Ten Mistakes Most Brides Make and How YOU can avoid them:

Waiting until the last minute to make arrangements or to book the various services….photographer, caterer, florist, videographer and DJ. Ideally, these should be reserved 6 months to 1 year in advance to avoid last minute panic and to assure availability.
Losing out on the church or banquet hall of your choice because you didn't realize that these facilities are not booked until you have a signed contract. Your church may not use contracts, but all the same, make sure both are officially reserved for you as soon as you can!
Small mistakes on the invitations. Many times a small printing error occurs on the invitations and they need to be redone…which causes them to be late getting out and this just adds a lot of undue stress. The solution to this is to use an old printer’s trick…proof read backwards! That’s right, when you proof your invitations, look for mistakes by reading them normally then by reading them backwards…you’re sure to catch all the typo’s!
Trying to do it all yourself. Yes it is your wedding but after doing over 77,600 weddings we’ve certainly noticed that the brides who get others involved by delegating definitely are more relaxed and have more fun on their big day.
Asking a friend to videotape your wedding. First of all, it can be somewhat inconsiderate. You would never think to ask a friend who is a mechanic to tune up your car during the reception to make sure that you make it to the airport for your honeymoon flight…he’d miss all the fun. Same thing with a friend or relative who happen to own a nice camera or has video experience. Besides, you would never think to ask a friend to take all your wedding photos…so why make that mistake with your wedding video? And what happens to the friendship when they mess it up? Fortunately, this problem is disappearing in the wedding industry. As a matter of fact, now more than 80% of all weddings are professionally videotaped…and it only makes sense. The younger generations are more and more video oriented……we envision a young mother in the future showing her wedding pictures to her 3 year old child someday and the child asks "Mommy, why don't these pictures move?"
Ignoring cancellation policies. No one likes to think about this, but what if something happens and you have to cancel? Is all your money refunded? And things do happen. The groom breaks his leg in a softball game, the bride gets a big promotion, we’ve seen it all. Even, God forbid, the two of you decide to wait…after a hard decision like that, can there be much worse than a vendor telling you that they are going to keep your $400?
Not getting enough sleep the night before. Your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life and it will fly by, but it still is a very long day! You both need your rest! So get a good night’s sleep. Grooms, pay special attention here…she needs you to be at your best…so boys will be boys but know when to say when with the fun so you have plenty of time to recover from that bachelor party!
Not eating right and not drinking enough water on your wedding day. They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that your wedding day is the most important day of your life. Does that make this breakfast the most important meal of your life? Keep your energy level up! And most wedding day fatigue is caused by dehydration. Drink plenty of fluids all day…remember, the gown and tux are a little warmer than what you are used to wearing day to day!
Forgetting little details. Like being sure to wear your wedding rings during the photo session. Reminding your groomsmen to try on their tux well in advance in case the pants are too short etc. Bringing comfortable shoes to the reception…so you can dance the night away in comfort. Putting lotion on your ring fingers before the ceremony so your rings slide on easily.
Going to the post office to make sure that your oversized wedding invitation can be mailed with one 33 cent stamp…can you imagine your invitations arriving postage due?

Rehearse the day in your mind to avoid overlooking anything!

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Have Fun!!!! 20 years from now when you remember your wedding day, you wont remember all the little details. You’ll mostly remember how much fun you had. So don't spend it worrying about everything going just right. Instead just relax and let it sweep you away in the magic, the moment, the joy and the FUN of your wedding day!

The top ten things that can ruin a wedding budget and how you can avoid them:

Forgetting to include sales tax in your budget. Many of the things you need for your wedding are taxable, some are not…be sure to ask, and budget accordingly because for many weddings, sales taxes can add up to almost one thousand dollars!
Not budgeting for gratuities. Tipping the servers at the banquet hall, the priest or minister, the limo driver, etc…this can easily add up to a few hundred dollars.
Forgetting to include postage for the invitations in your budget. For a large wedding, this can add up to a hundred dollars or more!
Not watching out for the phrase "Prices are subject to change" on any wedding vendor’s contract. Negotiate this out of the contract so you can lock in a firm price!
Not watching out for extra charges. Almost every vendor offers you extra cost options…so you can tailor their service to your tastes…could you imagine going to a new car dealer where every car had the exact same options on it? No, the customer deserves and demands choices! But watch out for hidden things like…. do they charge for travel? Or is there a set up fee? Dont be afraid to ask "Are there any other charges that we could incur that aren't listed on our contract?"
Not using a wedding budget. The best way to overspend is to not have a budget. Even a simple one will help you to make the best choices to suit your needs.
Having your wedding on the busiest Saturday in the busiest month. Lots of people want to get married on a Saturday in June. But many wedding vendors price their services on a supply and demand basis, so Saturdays in May and June are more expensive…you probably already thought of that, but what you may not have realized is something that we have noticed in the wedding, party and events industry. And that is….for some reason, the busy wedding Saturdays are also busy days for all types of events. So keep in mind that some of your favorite guests you wish to invite may not be able to attend because they have a previous commitment…obviously, this is especially true with December weddings conflicting with company Christmas parties but it really is true with Saturdays in the summer as well! So consider a Friday night wedding or a Saturday in a traditionally slower month. You’ll save money of course, but you’ll also have fewer friends who cant make it due to a prior commitment.
Trying to match the weddings that you read about in the national bridal magazines. Those weddings are $40,000 affairs at famous hotels in New York City. That’s not you, so don't worry that your guests aren't going to be dining on fresh Maine lobster tails flown in by private jet that morning! Besides, you’ll probably have more FUN than that stuffy old crowd anyway!!
Inviting too many people to your reception. Smaller crowds are more manageable. Take care to invite those you really care about and not those friends that you somehow feel obligated to invite. A good test is to ask this question; "Am I going to be seeing this person or spending time with them in the future?" The exception to this of course are your relatives…Aunt Betsy may not see you more than once a year, but she is your mom’s sister!
Booking a certain hall or church or other vendor because "That’s who your sister used". Instead, shop around….you’re the customer!….you deserve choices! With a little effort, you may find something that you like much better and saves you money besides!!

The top ten ways a groom can be the most help possible to his new bride.

Get Involved!! Be as involved as she wants you to be. Go along on appointments to meet with wedding vendors if she wants you to! Be as much help as she tells you she wants you to be!
Never, ever say "Whatever you want honey!"….she wants you to affirm her choices, not to act like you don't care one way or the other!!!!!
Listen to her……let her talk about her thoughts and concerns, and you just listen….remember if she has a problem, she most likely doesn't want you to provide a solution, she just wants you to LISTEN!
Show her that you care about the details. Men often act as if, as long as the thing starts on time and no one loses the rings, that everything will be fine. She expects and deserves more than that. Show her that you care…even about the details!!!
Understand that this is the most important day of her life…..and yours! A bride planning her wedding can be something that only another woman can truly understand, but you need to be especially understanding of her needs and desires during this planning period.
Love her…..she’ll have her ups and downs during this planning period. Just show her all the love you can, she needs it!!!
Volunteer to handle one or more of the wedding vendors…maybe you know a lot about cars and can reserve a limo that’s a little special or different, etc.
Tell your friends not to overdo the bachelor party thing. She’s got enough to worry about without your friend Bobby taking you for one last 90mph blast through the apartment complex parking lot on the back of his motorcycle.
Let your future mother in law participate as much as she wants! For many women, the only thing more exciting than planning their own wedding is helping to plan their "little girl’s" wedding. Respect this. If you don't understand it, chock it up to being a Guy Thing, but let them have their fun!!!
Finally, Live by the rule; "Happy Wife, Happy Life"! A recent study showed that the one key ingredient that most happily married couples had in common was not good communication skills, it was not sophisticated behavioral modification techniques or marriage consulting or anything else fancy like that. No, the researchers found that it was quite simply that the happiest marriages were "the ones where the husband basically did what the wife wanted him to do and he tried his best to make her happy"!!!! Good Advice…and right now is a good time to start practicing it!!!

The top ten ways to increase the amount of dancing (and fun) at your wedding:

Most importantly, have a good time yourselves! Your guests will take their lead from the two of you! If they see you dancing and having a good time, they will too! It really does work this way!
Have the house lights turned down, especially at an afternoon reception and summer ones where the dancing starts before it’s dark outside and your hall has a lot of windows! Guests do not like to dance in a room where it’s too light! It makes them feel uncomfortable! Think Niteclubs…they are the professionals at getting patrons to dance and they make sure it’s dark because they know that it helps encourage people to dance! So have the hall manager dim the lights, pull the drapes, whatever they need to do to make the room sufficiently dark for dancing!
Note: we’ve found that this can especially be a problem at ritzy golf and country clubs…they want you to leave the drapes open to show off the lovely view of the 18^th green ….but who wants them staring out the window?…you want them to dance and have a good time! And you’re the customer…tell them that you want the drapes shut shortly before the dancing starts!
Tell the hall manager to please adjust the air conditioning if necessary as the room fills up and the dancing starts! Guests don't like to dance if the room is too warm!!!
Don't expect your guests to dance on carpet! If your hall is all carpet and does not have a tile, or wooden dance floor etc, consider renting a portable dance floor…you’ll find them in the yellow pages under "Party Supplies" or "Rental Equipment". To a lesser extent, for outdoor weddings, guests don't like dancing on rough concrete. Just something to keep in mind!
Be flexible with your music! Allow the DJ to read the crowd! Trying to program the entire evening’s music by choosing too many songs really never works…you need to allow for guests’ requests and what the DJ sees is going over at the event! The receptions that work out best are the ones where the customer picks 1/3 of the songs, and the rest are guests’ requests and what the DJ decides is working!
Use Party Props. Things like YMCA hats and Blues Brothers hats and glasses go a long way to adding a lot of fun to the event!
Book extra hours of dance music! If you have a 4 hour reception, by the time the dinner and all the formalities are done, there’s not much time left to really get the crowd going! In many cases, an extra hour of music will literally double the amount of real dance time!
Make sure that dinner is served on time! If dinner is late or runs too long it can really throw the timetable off and there’s not enough time left for a lot of FUN!!!
Take all your photos at the church before the ceremony! This one thing can make the biggest difference in the amount of time that you have to have fun later!!!
If your best man or maid of honor are a little crazy (or anyone in your wedding party), ask them to get the dancing started…it can really help your shy guests to see them up there having a great time!!!